The Final Cut

Hello and welcome to another special pay-per-view edition of The Final Cut. It is that time once again where I attempt to predict the outcome of Wrestlemania matches, World Wrestling Entertainment’s biggest pay-per-view show of the year.

I know after what happened last month I said that I would not be doing these again but I just feel this need to make a prat out of myself by getting the predictions wrong.

Some of you will notice that this prediction column has been posted before a certain rival column so I can not be accused of stealing, copying or being a terrorist!

As always in no particular order:

“The dead will rise at Wrestlemania”, or so World Wrestling Entertainment would like you to believe. The slogan really should be: “The crap will rise at Wrestlemania.”

So Undertaker will have the old Undertaker gimmick back, will this mean that Undertaker will perform like he did in his heyday? No. What does this mean? One cheap push before his career is laid to rest.

These two have met many times before, too many for my liking, and the only thing they have managed to do is put on many bad matches and rip to shreds a perfectly good storyline.

I, of course, will be watching for Undertaker to make his grand entrance and I also suspect that I will mark out, like many of the smarts will do. But sadly once we see that his performance in the ring has not improved the infatuation caused by his appearance will cease quicker than a Hardcore Holly push.

So what of the match? They have spent months building up Undertaker’s return to the ring as The Deadman I do not think that they will throw all that build up away by allowing Kane to walk out with the win.

Winner: Undertaker

Finally a women’s match that does not have Lita or Trish Stratus in it! Finally a women’s match that has put two of the most talented female wrestlers on the World Wrestling Entertainment roster against each other.

Not only should this match push the dire female division up a peg or two in the eyes of the wrestling fans but the match also has a stipulation and I am not talking about the loser has to appear naked or some other lewd stipulation.

It really is refreshing to have a decent looking women’s match on the pay-per-view card, I would rather we have just this match but World Wrestling Entertainment want to please the 14 year old sad perverts who will tune in so they have set up a tag team evening gown match, a good chance of seeing a bit of cleavage! WOW!

If Molly Holly loses this match then she will have her head shaved by Victoria in the ring. I do not think they will give Victoria the title and then force her to drop it so quickly (they will make her drop it to Lita instead) so it looks like Molly Holly is going to get a haircut.

Winner: Victoria

Oh my god this is so interesting! That is what I will be saying to myself as I watch the tap in my toilet drip whilst having one of my multiple toilet breaks during Wrestlemania.

What a complete waste of television time, I know they were finding it hard to fill up the card but for the love of god surely they could have given the time to something else.

Why not have a gimmick battle royal with old wrestlers from the past, it went down a real treat when they did it in a pay-per-view last time and although the actual wrestling content was not great most of us enjoyed watching the old wrestlers getting it on.

I am not even going to bother to pick a winner for this match, I see no bloody point in it at all!

Winner: The sad perverts who watch for glimpses of breast!

Ah ha! The match that most wrestling fans have wanted to see since Goldberg walked his no-selling ass into World Wrestling Entertainment. Well actually the match we all wanted to see was Goldberg versus ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin but since he is in no condition to wrestle any more, because of his neck, Brock Lesnar seems the next logical step.

If the rumours circling the internet are true and Goldberg really is walking back to Japan with his tail between his legs then I see no logical reason why he should be put over if he is on his way out, unless World Wrestling Entertainment want to kiss his ass so that he may come back one day.

Brock Lesnar’s heel persona is gaining a lot of ground and I think taking a big scalp such as Goldberg’s could be just the thing to embed that heel persona in the memory of the fans for a long time to come.

Indeed the only question is will ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin interfere? And will Goldberg lose a match to someone he considers a lesser star than he?

Winner: Brock Lesnar

Not a lot of people are looking forward to this match up, many feel that Christian is not quite up to wrestling on a pay-per-view as big as Wrestlemania in such as a high-profile match as this.

I have a different view on the matter, I think that Christian is a vastly underrated wrestler and his feud with Chris Jericho is just what his career needs right now.

Chris Jericho has been lost in recent months, feuding in pointless angles against wrestlers who really are beneath him. But now he has an opponent that he can really do great things with.

I do not think that this feud is going to be such a quick one month feud, I think that if they build this correctly then Chris Jericho, Christian and Trish Stratus can make this stretch to another month.

The only way it would be sensible for Chris Jericho to walk out with the win in my book would be if Trish Stratus turned heel on him and sided with Christian, but since Trish Stratus has no interest in turning heel I will plump for Christian to get the nod this time.

Winner: Christian

This is one match that I will be looking forward to the most. Yes I know that the match will not exactly be a classic match but there are a number of good things that can come out of the match.

Firstly Rock is involved, whether you like him or not he will get the fans embedded into the match right from the start. Judging by his reaction last week the fans still love seeing him.

Then you have the fantastic storyline between Mick Foley and Randy Orton. Mick Foley has put Randy Orton over brilliantly, even to the point of becoming obsessed with the storyline.

With Mick Foley’s ability to tell a story in the ring, Rock’s ability to draw the fans in and Randy Orton and Flair’s heel status I think this could turn out to be a nice little match even with dozy Batista in there as well.

Lets not beat around the bush here, Rock & Sock Connection should not win this match, if they put Mick Foley & The Rock over then it will undo all the hard work Mick Foley, Randy Orton and the bookers have done in building up the storyline over the recent months.

A screw finish would help plant the heel seed even further into the legend killer.

Winner: Evolution

I will not spend time ranting about how Shawn Michaels has stolen Chris Benoit’s thunder or how I think the bookers has never had faith in Chris Benoit’s ability instead I will simply get on with the prediction.

For people of you who have read my latest column concerning Chris Benoit’s push you will see exactly how I feel on the subject of Shawn Michaels. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about – GO AND READ MY LAST COLUMN ABOUT CHRIS BENOIT!!!

So this is it. This is the moment that Chris Benoit will show the people who have doubted him what a fine wrestler he really is. Shawn Michaels and Triple H may have had to carry Chris on the microphone but they will not need to carry him during the match, I should say it will be the other way around!

Many will assume that Shawn Michaels will leave with the championship thanks to his best buddy jobbing for him but I, as always, am going to go right against the grain and say that Chris Benoit will leave with the championship.

My reasoning? The next pay-per-view is the Raw-only Backlash which is in Chris Benoit’s home-town of Edmonton, Canada. Yeah I know it is a rather thin reasoning but there it is.

Winner: Chris Benoit

Whilst many people will look as far as the Goldberg/Brock Lesnar match as the match of the night I say Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero will steal this title from their clutches on the night.

Kurt Angle’s recent heel turn was built up very well, Kurt Angle standing over Eddie Guerrero with those eyes shining is one image that I will not forget in a hurry.

When Eddie Guerrero took the title from Brock Lesnar most of us knew it would be a rather short title reign for Latino Heat but I will go against the majority of the writers who have all plumped for Kurt Angle to walk out of Wrestlemania with the belt.

The fact that Paul Heyman hates Eddie Guerrero being the champion smacks of the old angle that Vince McMahon did not so many years ago when he threw everything at Austin to prise that title out of his hands.

I can see Eddie Guerrero walking out with the belt intact only to drop it at the next pay-per-view Smackdown are involved with.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero

It looks like I will be visiting the toilet and the kitchen more than once during Wrestlemania XX. This match looks set to be more boring and tedious than the female tag team match!

Booker T and Rob Van Dam are a misfit tag team, a one off teaming that will only hold the tag titles for a short period of time before losing them and splitting up to go their separate ways.

The Dudleys have been here so many times before and to be honest giving them another tag team title run will achieve absolutely nothing. I have said this before and I will say it again:

When you give a tag team so many title runs in a short space of time it loses the appeal and now after something like 18 tag team title runs The Dudleys are done. There is nowhere else for them to go, sadly they suck as single stars.

The logical team to give the titles to would be the excellent young team of Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak, but that would be sensible and this is World Wrestling Entertainment….

Winner: Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak

Big Show has held the United States championship for several months now and in that time he has lessened the value of the belt; not because of who is he but because he has hardly defended the belt at all, apart from a few squash matches.

I like Big Show, when people started jumping all over him because he was not putting the effort into his matches he shut them all up by putting in some fine matches against Chris Benoit, John Cena and Brock Lesnar to name a few.

But giving him the United States championship has done nothing to his career or the potential value of the title belt in the eyes of the fans. It would have been better if Big Show had ducked and dived during title defence matches rather than have none at all!

Now along comes John Cena and we now have a wrestler who can not only take the belt from Big Show in a decent match but can also carry the belt with ease. It is time to hand over the proverbial baton and see what the Mayor Of Thugamomics can do with it.

Winner: John Cena

Now wait a second, have I got this correct? We are having a decent looking cruiserweight match at Wrestlemania and it is not being shunted onto Heat? OK who are you guys and what have you done with the real booking team!

Well whatever the reasoning I am not going to put the mockers on it by asking why they have made such a decision, just sit back and enjoy the match and hope that they decide to put more cruiserweight matches on more pay-per-views in the future.

I am not so sure how this is going to work, I think they will have an elimination battle royal type match with the winner staying in the ring to meet the cruiserweight champion.

There are a number of former cruiserweight champions in the battle royal but I have a feeling that Rey Mysterio may emerge as the winner of the elimination match and then face Chavo Guerrero.

But I do not think having Rey Mysterio go over and walk out with the title is such a good idea, Rey Mysterio has held the title a number of times and maybe it is time for someone else to run with the belt.

The fans may chant for Rey Mysterio to win the elimination battle royal but I suspect that Chavo will keep hold of the championship belt a little while longer.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Well there we have it for yet another month, Wrestlemania XX looks set to be a nice looking card but I do have one grave concern. This year the show is scheduled to be a whopping five hours long, How can World Wrestling Entertainment not only keep the viewers at home interested but keep the fans in attendance from getting burned out half way through?

Until next time.

About Dean Saliba

Dean Saliba has written 27 post in this blog.

Dean Saliba writes a professional wrestling column called The Final Cut. The infamous column that was once voted the "third best column in the A1 Wrestling News Columnist Of The Year awards" and also the 34th best professional wrestling column on the Internet in 2004!

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